One day we hope to pass our many years of knowledge onto our kids, in order to help them grow up to be successful in their careers and relationships. However, what about the knowledge they can pass to us? Children have such an innocent outlook on life, which allows them to see past our prejudices and find the truth. Today, we ask you to relax and enjoy, as we presents some fresh answers to some of the oldest quandary’s in the world. What is love, dating, sex, and everything in between?
I will tell (my) wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
–Ricky, age 10
Lies meant to protect the feelings of a spouse, are the only untruths that should enter a relationship.
Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.
–Tom, age 5
Women often hurry too fast to find love. You must be satisfied with your own company, before you can find someone to share it with.
I’m going to have a fancy wife named FooFoo, and she’ll live in my mobile home.
–Anonymous, age 4
No dream is too small, and love can find you anywhere, anytime, and in any social class. Don’t give up, and never settle for anything less than your own FooFoo.
Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.
–Erin, age 8
Listen to your partner, pay attention to their interests, but if you ever call them by the wrong name, you’ve got bigger skeletons in your closet that you’d probably care to admit.
It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.
–Kenny, age 7
Most women sabotage love by thinking too much.
Spend most of (your) time loving instead of going to work.
–Tom, age 7
On our death bed, the only thing that will matter is the family and friends we loved, not the strangers and acquaintances we tried to impress.
Even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.
–Ava, age 8
One of the biggest arguments between couples is money. Beware of your finances, but don’t let them create a wedge between you and your partner.
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
–Mike, age 10
Lies are often used to leverage a relationship to our favor in the beginning, but they will only manage to create distance and misunderstanding later on.
Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one.
–Angie, age 10
Beware that kids develop their expectations from a parent’s example.
When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don’t get up for at least an hour.
–Wendy, age 8
Love is indeed a powerful force to reckon with.
It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That’s why I stopped doing it.
–Tammy, age 10
Kissing is important for the brain to detect brain chemistry. When the chemistry is right, slobbering can be deep, sensual, and pleasurable. When wrong, it is gross and unpleasant. It’s not how you kiss that creates magic, but what’s behind it (saliva, hormones, genes, etc.).
Shake your hips and hope for the best.
–Camille, age 9
Studies show the more a woman sways her hips as she walks, the more attention it will draw from male suitors. Never be afraid to shake your tail feathers.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
–Lynnette, age 8
Men are quiet on first dates, often because it takes them longer to organize what they want to say. Rather than frantically trying to keep the conversation rolling, it is recommended for women to ask questions and give men the necessary silence to contribute.
Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.
–Erin, age 8
Research suggests the more gracious and grateful you are to a partner, the kinder and more forgiving they will be towards you.
[After a bad date] I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
–Craig, age 9
Now, take your new found knowledge, and find yourself a relationship your kids (will one day) be proud of.