I have wondered throughout most of my adulthood, why most men find it necessary to lie to us women. Then it dawned on me, that it could actually be for a variety of reasons. He may do so to appear smart, intellectual, knowledgeable, worldly, or to gain a woman’s approval. Men gain this reputation especially when it comes to saving himself in a sticky situation. What men fail to realize, is that the real decision to be made, is whether to be punished a little now, or punished a whole lot later on. Seems like an obvious choice to us women, but when a man is faced with the prospects of a tongue and manhood lashing, most will choose to lie almost every time.
To a man, there is actually comfort in the lie. It is like an old friend who has stuck with him through thick and thin. As a teenager, the lie becomes a man’s best friend and ally. Anything he may have been perceived to lack, could be instantly rectified by his imagination. There are few things that give a man such instant gratification, but the lie is undoubtedly one of them. A well placed lie can make almost anything wrong, instantly right. Then, a man forgets all about it, and expects everyone else to do the same. What he forgets is that a woman does not forget! It simply gets lightly buried in the sand until the next windstorm blows through.
Most men tell themselves that these little white lies are inherently quite harmless, and in truth, sometimes they are. What they do not count on is the fact that these little white lies have a tendency to grow into 540 foot purple elephants that will remember the lie until the day he dies. Once the lie rolls off the tip of his tongue, it becomes a seemingly never-ending swirl of diminished credibility and illogical reasoning. Round and round his explanations go, where they stop are only the beginning to his woe:
Me: Where were you tonight?
Man: I was trapped inside my car, baby.
Me: Oh honey, that is terrible. Why didn’t you call me?
Man: I had locked the keys in the car.
Me: While you were in it?
Man: Huh? I mean, the phone was inside it.
Me: But isn’t that where you were?
Man: What? No, I was changing the tire.
Me: You didn’t say anything about a flat. It’s seven in the morning, where the hell have you been?
Man: Is it that late?
Me: You see that? That is the sun coming up!
Man: Yes, I know… that’s why I’ve been looking for my sunglasses all night.
What is behind most every man’s lie is the logic, how can I be sure of what really happened, or if I even exists for that matter? In other words, if a man cheats on his girl in the middle of a forest with only a camcorder, three hookers, and a chipmunk… did it really happen? Most unfaithful men seriously question the validity of answering such a question without the presence of a lawyer, the sworn word of the hookers, and a prenuptial agreement.
In all seriousness, what it all comes down to is most men lie because they are lazy and insecure. Men need to have approval, especially from us women. He needs to feel like the alpha male, worthy of our attention. However, once he feels like he has achieved this status, he attempts to cut a few corners to make life easier for himself. Hence, he’d rather lie about an issue, than take it head on. The good news is that this is something that can be untrained.
The key to reprogramming a man is simply rewarding him for telling the truth, even when the truth is bad. This doesn’t mean throwing him a party because he stayed out all night. However, you can at least give him proper credit for owning up to his fault. You want him to understand that telling the truth is actually more appreciated than what he thinks you want to hear.
Do take heart ladies, if your efforts do not pay off, you must realize that not all men were created equal. In fact… some are best left cuddled and thrown back in the cage.