I used to believe that women just naturally had low libidos compared to men. But this is a social misconception, brought on by superstition, media and the lack of understanding for what really turns a woman on. So in order to cut through some of the BS a lot of us have been fed, I’d like to get a few things off my chest so that us women can get a lot more going on underneath our skirts (so to speak) – beginning with:
1. You Think Too Much-
Is he attracted to me? Is he looking at my mole? Did I pickup ketchup at the store today? Eww, why is he making that face? This is just a sample of some of the dialogue going on in a woman’s mind during sexy time. But let’s put it this way: Researchers have studied the effects of soft pornography on the arousal of women, and they now suggest that we are often not as turned on… because we are too distracted by other stuff. So what they did was distract the minds of these women so they could focus on just the imagery alone… and guess what? They became very turned on. The morale of this story is to take a little bit of the blame for harboring all that inner dialogue. However, if your man is instigating that dialogue by either being too critical or not helping around the house – it’s high time you had a serious talk about acting like a good man.
2. You’re Too Focused on Age-
I’ve read research that suggests that women who are in their twenties have lower libidos, along with women who are nearing the edge of menopause. This means that your best sex should come somewhere in-between these two moments, which should give many of us a good portion of decades to work with. But this is just research. There are plenty of examples of women enjoying sex at any age, so don’t ever undermine your pleasure by giving into what you’ve been told you’re ‘suppose to feel’ at any given age set.
3. You’re Not Warming up Properly-
A lot of injuries can happen by not warming up properly at the gym. But if you are not being warmed up properly in bed with some foreplay, your emotions are being injured by failing to ignite with sexual interest. Dan Ariely of Duke University has noted that women often fail to find certain aspects of sex to be ‘sexy’ unless their ovens have been properly pre-heated. The problem is that we suffer from ‘Think Too Much’ syndrome which puts the brunt of this task on the creativity of our partner. In other words, a woman is not always able to self-ignite her own oven. What’s in it for him, he may lazily ask? Well, Ariely also found that a properly warm woman would often be more open to kinky sex ideas she previously showed no interest in – enough said.
4. You Don’t Sleep Enough-
If I told you there was an easy way to boost your current libido by as much as 20 percent would you do it? The research suggests that just one extra hour of sleep per night can increase a woman’s libido by as much as that, but you have to follow that prescription without fault. Unfortunately, the research also suggests that most of us are not getting near enough sleep per day. Here’s more incentive: Taking the time to get enough sleep every night will do all kinds of good for your body, including improving your mood, protecting yourself from disease, and helping to regulate your hormones and body weight. Just do it!
5. Your Guy Might be Too Short or Too Poor-
Hey, I’m not saying that us women are gold diggers, but you can’t really just forgo centuries of survival. Women are just more attracted to tall, capable men, according to the research of Dan Ariely. In fact, the only way to compensate for being an inch under what you normally prefer, is for a man to make an extra $42,000 per year. The moral here is: if you’re not attracted to your guy that way, there may be things that you (and him) can do to compensate… or you could also just go and find yourself a more attractive guy.
6. It’s Your Body Shape’s Fault-
Can the natural shape of your body predict your enjoyment out of life? According to research, yes it can. The shape of your body can dictate everything from your health to your joy of sex, and in this particular game it appears that the pear shaped women have the upper hand. What happens to the women who tend to hold their weight in the mid portion of their bodies, is that it reduces the amount of SHBG that is produced in your liver. This decreases the amount of testosterone available, which only makes it more difficult to to get turned on. But as you might expect, this condition can be reversed by decreasing the amount body fat in your mid section with some good old fashioned diet and exercise.