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Home » 15 Ponderisms

15 Ponderisms

June 13, 2013 by Fiona

Ponderism

You’re beginning to pickup speed, as you head down the hump.
It’s a good time to start thinking about your weekend. It’s also a good time to ponder about life, love, and why…

  1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  2. There are two kinds of pedestrians… The quick and the dead.
  3. Life is sexually transmitted.
  4. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  5. Health people are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  6. Have you noticed that ever since everyone owns a cell phone these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
  7. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  8. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  9. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it normal.
  10. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire. However, it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out’?  Hmmm, how about eggs?
  12. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
  13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  15. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Filed Under: Living Tagged With: advice, health tips, ponderism

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